Posts Tagged ‘Broken family Broken family Broken family Broken family Broken family Child custody custody daughters divorce heart break Marriage parental alienation parenting PAS Child custody coping custody daught’

Through out my life I have been guilty of acting purely upon emotion.  As I have matured and grown spiritually it has become less and less. Anyone that knows me knows that I wear my heart on my sleeve despite my appearance. Sensitivity can be a great attribute but it can also be exploited easily, and such was the case in my life on too many occasions. In the situation that this blog has been focused on, M has counted on my acting purely on emotion. The problem is that I have grown and changed in a positive way which has left those emotions in check. Essentially, M doesn’t know who I am at this point in my life. The same can be said about her as well. It has been more than ten years since we met and I feel like I know less about her nowthan I did the first day we met. All the things I believed to be true about her have been proven completely false. M has shown time and time again that she is capable of things that I could have never imagined. The marriage was a complete sham and I now know it.

There is a strange twist to this story that I never imagined would occur. It seems that as I have grown and changed in a positive way, M has regressed and lost touch with reality and logic. Her actions recently show that she is acting purely upon emotion and has no grasp of reality and has forgotten about logic altogether. I will explain that statement shortly. At the beginning of this ordeal, I was crippled with grief  because of the estrangement from B. It literally consumed me to a point that it was unhealthy. As time has passed I have learned to lean upon those around me for support because they understand and act as a sounding board for me. I believe that the initial alienation that M caused was a tactic to come between my wife and I and cause us to be at odds. That is exactly what it would have done in the marriage with M. What M didn’t understand is that it gave my wife and I a common battle that we could come together and fight. The behavioral issues with B and the drama with M cause Mel and I to become closer rather than tear us apart. Over the course of several months, the behavioral issues with B got worse and M attempted to cause as many issues as possible, but her game plan wasn’t working. She had to figure out a new game plan. That plan was to take B from me and do her best to emotionally cripple me. In the past it would have worked. I would have become so distraught that I would have acted out in a negative way and M could have sat back as had her “I told ya so” moment. Throughout the past year and a half I have proven over and over that I am well grounded and can handle any situation she throws my way with maturity and class. The same can’t be said about M.

M once told me that if backed into a corner she would act like a wild animal and attack, that she would win at any cost (that statement was made during the early days of the divorce). She proved those words, then with a false claim of domestic violence and since the signing of the new custody agreement she has shown yet again her animal instinct. M’s actions over the last month have been degrading to a point that logic is no where to be found. She continually backs herself into the proverbial corner with out right lies and completely illogical actions. The new agreement states that as B’s parents we both agree that she needs to be in therapy. It further states that M is solely responsible for having B enrolled in counseling within two weeks of the agreement. Well, as you know that never happened and I had to get the attorneys involved so that a counselor was FINALLY chosen. A list of counselors was given to M and she approved two for me to decide from. One of them never returned my call so I chose the other and set an appointment to speak with her. The appointment was to find out who she was and what her qualification as a therapist were. M had previously sent an e-mail to me stating that she had researched the counselors and that B was comfortable with her choices. I in response sent an e-mail asking what she had done to research them and  asking her to share that information. That e-mail is still awaiting a response as of today, therefore I had to do the research myself. I e-mailed M and invited her to the  initial appointment with the counselor so that M had equal access and B could become familiarized with the new counselor.  I received no response but my attorney received several from opposing counsel. Apparently M had called her attorney and stated that I was compromising the process of therapy, yada yada yada. M also called the counselor and told her that I had no legal right to have anything to do with the counseling process. What I found humorous is that M had sent her the custody agreement just hours prior.That custody agreement outlines that we both have equal access and rights to all medical care givers etc. Strike one for M. The counselor compared M’s statements to the legal documentation that M had provided.Can you say DUH?

I also decide to touch base with the guidance counselor at B’s school just so she was aware of the new custody agreement and to let her know that B was attending counseling. I don’t know how B will react to the counseling and I wanted her to have as much support as possible. We had also sent the guidance counselor an e-mail in reference to the counseling  that she had not yet replied to. I wanted to follow up as well. Upon speaking to the school counselor, I was informed that she had just spoken to M and that M had informed her that no counselor had been chosen yet, and that M wasn’t sure it would even occur. Bear in mind that the custody order states that B must be in counseling or there will be consequences for M. The guidance counselor is in possession of that agreement! My e-mail to the counselor was sent prior to the conversation with M. It was also in direct contradiction to their conversation. S0, strike two for M. Do you see a pattern forming here? Caught in lie number two within a day. M is lying to all the wrong people!

Today was a huge strike three. I’m not sure what the hell she was thinking to be honest. M missed the initial appointment with the counselor for the court mandated counseling. What’s even more surprising is that she followed up with a call stating the counselor’s services were no longer needed and that B would not be seen, period. I was angry, but more baffled. Is M really so arrogant as to think that she is above the law? Does she think she can act with impunity indefinitely? To this point I have avoided filing any motions for contempt because I felt it would do more harm than good in my relationship with B. It also would continue the animosity between M and I. M changed all that today. I can’t see how not moving forward with a motion for contempt would be positive in any way for B or anyone else. It’s time to let a judge decide if M deserves a slap on the wrist or a little time in a cell. Either way, a pattern has been established over the past several months and it is all documented.

One cannot act purely on emotion with no consideration of logic. M is living proof. I will keep you posted as to how things turn out.